They say that kids say the darnest things, whoever said that clearly never met some wedding guests! Some guests as I’ve come to realise, tend to ask the darnest things (“How much you pay for your wedding?” or “You lose weight or what?” or “All dat make up you have on?”). Enough to make you say “mind your own beeswax” (okay, that’s the polite version, only because the expletive version can’t be here on this blog!)
Anyway, there are guests who will show up at your wedding and never bring a gift. There are even guests who will bad-talk your wedding IN your own wedding!
Don’t get me wrong, this is not to detract from the many lovely guests that do attend weddings – the helpful ones, the supportive ones, the ones who stay till the party has ended ( and not just for the drinks but to lime with you), the ones who shed a tear in the church/temple/mosque for your happiness. We love those types of guests! But let’s get real, they are few and far between and usually they are our best friends and close family members.
And just as how kids don’t come with manuals, guests don’t have manuals either when it comes to attending weddings, which is why it may be wise to compile something like the 10 Commandments For Guests ( feel free to come up with your own - 'cos every guest list is different!), here goes:
- Thou shalt RSVP by the deadline
- Thou shalt not covet the couple’s centrepiece and thou shalt not take it, unless the host giveth to you
- Thou shalt be considerate of other guests and keep bodily functions in check at the table – no snorting, nose-picking, finger-licking, ear digging, body odour (and odours of any other sort) please.
- Thou shalt rise when the bride enters the room – always.
- Thou shalt not get drunk and disorderly at a wedding, neither shalt thou eat like a glutton or save the hors d’oeuvres for later…in your purse.
- Thou shalt dress appropriately and if thou art a female guest thou should avoid at all costs: showing off excessive cleavage and other things that may lead to wardrobe malfunctions. Thou shalt also avoid inappropriate undergarments or worse, wearing no undergarments at all.
- Thou shalt have no excuse for not bringing a wedding gift for the couple ( unless they don't want one)
- Thou shalt not bring along your granny ‘cos she's sick, your friend from "dong" the road, your cousin’s cousin visiting from Queens or your brother’s child who you are babysitting, to the wedding; without first having an invitation for them, from the couple.
- Thou shalt save the “flag man or flag woman wine” for Carnival and not for the wedding
- Thou shalt not comment about the flowers, food, the dress, the décor, the groom, the cake or anything else at the wedding, unless it is complimentary. Thou shalt remember that it is not your wedding and that everything will not be your taste.
If even one guest can change some type of bad behaviour into a good one, it will be one small step for humanity but one huge step for guests! Don't you think?
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